June 28, 2015

More than anything I am a kite in the wind, moving according to weather, client budget approvals, contractor availability and schedules, equipment breakdowns, hidden surprises on site. I fly around in utter randomness. Fort St. John today, Weyburn tomorrow.

For as long as I have been in Kung Fu, my schedule is best described as “loose”. I have never been able to say indefinitely that I would be at my son’s birthday, never been able to schedule a camping trip.  Scheduling dinner with friends, or a social event is pretty much none existent in our household, unless it is last minute.

Ironically, to be accountable is everything to me.  I hate to disappoint.  Under promise, overachieve is the mantra I wish to live by.  So, with a schedule like mine I naturally get leery of commitment.  Eventually you withdraw, don’t commit to anything, and thereby remove the possibility of disappointing anyone.  It’s not a good system, because under promising shows no progression, no accountability, and is really mediocre.  I have not really found a solution to this problem.

This could be the reason why attempting to achieve a black belt this I Ho Chuan year was a pretty tough decision for me.  Knowing the involvement that is expected, and on the other hand knowing realistically my availability makes the decision difficult.  More often than not, I ask myself whether this is something I can truly achieve.  It is, from many different angles, one of the most difficult things I have attempted.

I am in a very tough time of the year.  Demo’s, Kung Fu workshops, and most recently boot camp are items that have flown past.  I see the pictures, I read the blogs, I hear about the great benefit of all involved.  Every time I drive past the park in Stony, I wonder if I could perform my rope dart form on the bridge over the pond like last years demo….I rack my brain on how I can get there, be involved, show commitment, progression, all these things without a physical presence.  It is difficult…..very difficult.

All I can say is that I need to be prepared when the opportunity will present itself.  That means showing progression and being accountable when it counts. 

Saga of the Chinchaga

Well…he sees you, do you see him? Of all my critter encounters, It’s my best wilderness Waldo impression I have ever photographed in the Chinchaga. Let me know by comment if you find him.

This landscape still has that graze of wildness and unpredictability. The sounds are free of humanized clatter.  A light rain awakens the smell of deep forest and rocky soil.  It cools my nostrils to inhale a deep breath of this pure earthy goodness, and my body has no other option but to relax.

The gentle rain gives way to beams of sunlight, which severs holes through heaps of puffed clouds, golden white on top and menacing blue to the bottom.  Close your eyes. Concentrate your mind to feel the gentle warmth of a sun beam striking the face.   The trees are animated by a gentle breeze, and in the absence of that sound there would be nothing…..

Ahh the Chinchaga, the big wood river.  And while this land is hard on the body and even harder on equipment, it is good for my soul.

Hulk to the back shelf

I have come to realize that control is a real game changer. It is everything.  How we perceive a situation, how our body responds physiologically, and how we react in our actions defines how well Kung Fu will serve us when we need it most.

This past week I was placed in a situation where I drew on my Kung Fu and did not even realize it.  It didn’t require perfect alignment in my fist, or a well chambered kick.  It didn’t require the perfect horse stance or centering. It didn’t require anything that most bystanders would attribute to martial arts.  It rather required confidence.  A confidence that in turn resulted in a slow heartrate, a clear focus, and a calm controlled reaction.

We train in Kung Fu with pure intent. Hope in that we will not require the physical side of our training. Situations like this past week may only be experienced once or twice in our life time.  Recognizing that engagements of this nature are fortunately very rare, I took the time to sit down and take note of how my body responded, and how my actions followed.  I was alarmed that I was so calm during the entire time because I know from experience this is not a normal feeling, not a typical response to something like this.  This kind of reaction was very, very foreign to me.

Looking at my life day to day I have a long way to go, but things like this past week really put into perspective that I have made progress.  There are reactions I have had in my life I am not proud of.  This week however gave me a real hope that I have come a long way, and just goes to prove that just because a change is slow, it doesn’t make it insignificant.

June 7th

Well I haven’t bought a pair of rubber boots as an anniversary gift like a friend of mine once did. I don’t adhere to; nothing says I love you like a cubic zirconia philosophy. I am wise enough to know that no gift is better than a funnel and a road map from the gas station.

June 7^th   seems to be a tractor beam for chaos.  Maybe we would have rethought our wedding plans 12 years ago if we had known that over half of those would be consumed by family emergencies, work callouts and commitments.  There is always something that keeps from showing my true appreciation for my wife on this day and this year was no exception regarding work and commitments.

This week I really got thinking of the influence of some very special people in my life.  They truly have made me who I am.  But most importantly today I would like to write about my appreciation for my wife.  She has been with me through thick and thin.  She has supported me, whether she agreed or even didn’t understand.  She has provided help, guidance, care and love like I could never have imagined.

I think most of us realize that most of what we accomplish in life is the result of someone special.  Whether a teacher, a parent, sibling or friend, take a moment of time to reflect on just what they mean to you.