T Minus 5 Days

“I said that in the time we have, I would make your wushu better than you could imagine and I will.  Your only responsibility to me is to practice and to learn.  My responsibility to you is much greater: Every time you think your task is great, think how much greater mine is.  Just keep this in mind: if you fail.”

~Grandmaster Pan  Qingfu (Excerpt from Iron and Silk written by Mark Salzman.)

Instructor and student responsibilities seem to be front and foremost on my mind at this time.  The grading date is so close now that I can taste it, and my thoughts seem mostly directed towards not wanting to disappoint my instructors.  Also my family who have done so much in order to allow me to put as much time as possible to training the last few months.  With a history as old as Kung Fu, Sifu’s that have invested in me for reasons I don’t always understand, I consider this to be an exceptional privilege and honor to even be a part of.  If I am successful there holds the equivalent challenge of improving my Kung Fu to that worthy of a black belt in the following months.  Keeping engaged, and not just maintaining but always improving.

So, with a little anxiety I am looking forward to being a part of this. Being the final week there is little more I can physically do to improve my strength, flexibility and cardio.  Mostly I understand that all of the training in the world is worth nothing if you do not enter the day healthy. Currently this means nursing an ankle injury so that it is ready to go.  With the day fast approaching, it may prove to be the most difficult week mentally of my training so far.

A SAI of Relief

There I go, leaving a trail of blood again.  The result of a Sai hastily dropped and intercepted by my big toe.  While I tape up my foot I pondered the steps required to learn a weapon. 

Learning a weapon can sure be hard.  There is the awkward introduction phase, where I typically go through a very simple, yet important process for my own self preservation.  This end is pointy, this side is sharp, this end is blunt, but still dangerous.  The weapon looks like it feels, awkward, gangly, cumbersome.  Pulling together any element of a form at this stage seems next to impossible.  Generally this stage is accompanied by thoughts that perhaps I bit off more than I could chew, perhaps I should have stuck with something more familiar……like a spoon or fork or something.

Then, and generally after the weapon has injured me in some capacity, I come to realize that this thing actually served a historical purpose which entailed more than a demonstration by a newbie.  With any luck, maybe I have realize just how the weapon functioned…well…as a weapon.  Generally a watermelon or two has met its demise by this time.  Spin, twizzle, slice, how did this historically serve its purpose?

Ah, then comes the relationship building.  Sometimes I don’t like my weapon, and often it won’t like me. Now is the time to splice any remnant of Kung Fu skill and form into the function of the weapon.  Maybe a bit of creativity can start to flow.   This stage generally means a bit of disappointment, as my aspirations for what the weapon is capable of is limited by my skill. As a result the form emerges rather simple, with nothing complicated.

If history has a habit of repeating, then I can look forward to the stage of testing boundaries. This means exceeding my abilities and move to what seems like a regression back to the awkward stage.  Mental note; place corks on the tips of the sharp bits, hockey helmet is probably a good idea for when I get to this stage this year.

With any luck, repetitions will pay off.  With any luck this process of self learning will be as fulfilling as the previous years.  But for now, let’s not rush through the steps, but rather enjoy the process, be patient and let things fall into place.  Just hopefully with less bleeding this time.

Life with Purpose

Widgets, zing zangs, wizamaroos, rickety rackets.  Stuff.  Consuming, wasting, ignoring.  I pull into the parking lot of a grocery box store and wade through the stifling, suffocating crowds pressed in by behemoth stacks of products clean to the ceiling.  I wonder how on earth I can teach my kids about entitlement when I myself have gone so wrong.  How do I convey to them the difference between wants and needs, to give rather than consume, to be aware rather than to ignore.

True value.  Somewhere from my childhood to now I have lost my way.  Five hundred years ago acquiring a food store was the requirement for survival.  Where did that instinct get so manipulated to an endless need for luxury.  What is so desperately missing that we feel a need to fill it with endless trinkets. 

We have lost what constitutes true purpose. Without purpose, we lose our sense of value.  We get bored, ignorant, complacent.  We fill that void the easiest way we can.

For myself, it is not a matter of not having purpose, it is losing sight of it.  Like progress in Kung Fu, often a reflection on our life purpose is also required. Where am I, what am I doing, and most importantly….why?

I challenge you to answer that, then seek to fulfill it.

Easter update

 Well, this blog is simply an update.  A good Easter weekend and a spring break are coming to a close.  . Numbers on repetitions were OK this week.  I did not get as far along with my Sai form as I wanted.  The focus for this week will be the Sai form, and as always working on flexibility, kicks, and horse stance.  I am going through curriculum like a mad man, theory and memory work.  So much I wish to accomplish, so little time.  The next couple weeks will need to be a school in efficiency.