One year in the I Ho Chuan certainly does not quantify a
person as a veteran, but….
I sure feel more at ease going into the year of the
snake. That is for several reasons, but
the first has to be a change in my attitude regarding its approach. Sihing Lowry in her last post wrote about
guilt, and I would like to explore this a bit because it is a really reoccurring
theme with nearly every person I have trained with. I find it strange that the guilt emotion can
have such influence on my decisions regarding my training but yet I have never
put more than two seconds thought into the deeper roots of the matter. That is probably because it is of the less desirable
of human emotions.
As martial artists we are training and developing life
habits that compliment a healthy body and mind.
Healthy body and mind is why I do Kung Fu. To me, healthy body and mind are the two
factors attributed to quality of life. Therefore,
guilt that positively fuels these two basic requirements is positive in nature.
Guilt that knags at you while you dive into the Frito Lays and watch Jerry
Springer on late night TV for example.
Nobody can argue this. However,
things get a little gray when it comes to two opposing opportunities that are
both positive in nature, and both mean a net benefit to the quality of life. Take for example your child’s music recital
and a Kung Fu demo practice for instance.
Aha, nothing like going for the throat, eh!
I am sure my way of thinking is far different from many that
I train with, but in my opinion, setting my limits, guided by moral obligation
and according to a hierarchy of what is crucial for maintaining my healthy body
and mind, is important to me. I mention
this in my flavours page, but my hierarchy is this; My Faith, My Family, My
Kung Fu, and in that order. To me, my
spirituality is number one. My purpose
and reason for existence is core in this.
Following this is my family. For
most people this is really more selfish than it seems. Much of the purpose of family revolves around
our personal need for love, or the need to have a sense of worth and
purpose. While this is true in most
circumstances I don’t believe all we do for our families is for selfish
reasons. Why else would a parent give
there life for a loved one? That goes
against the entire theory of self preservation.
Anyway, back from the digression. What I have realized is that in order for my
Kung Fu to be successful, the other two elements have got to be in order first.
If my decisions are made with the purpose of best maintaining that hierarchy
then I really cannot see a reason for guilt.
That does not mean that every dance recital will trump every Kung Fu
demo because it technically falls higher in the hierarchy. I see it as three jugs with holes in the
bottom. A line is drawn on the outside
of each container. The Faith container
just has the line drawn higher to the top than the other two. Add water to each container and maintain the
level according to the line, this is balance.
There is only one way however to determine the current level of the
water.
REFLECTION. To me this means communication and
observation. Communicating with my
family, understanding where they are at and their impressions of my current
assignment of my resources. Is the
impact of my absence noticeable on my kids, and at what level is my physical health
negatively affecting their wellbeing.
I believe if a person continually reflects on the aspects of
their life, assesses which levels need tending to most, then make sound
decisions based on what you have found, well then there is no need for guilt.
Early at the start of the year, I was making decisions
without reflection. Decisions were
rather based on gut feel of where things were sitting, and resulted without
communication with my wife, assessment of my spiritual or mental state, or
assessment of my children’s performance and wellbeing. This would be like doing a number of push-ups
and sit-ups everyday but never counting, and never keeping journal of it. Guessing based on how sore your arms are is
not a good substitute. The same goes for
personal relationships, your career etc.
I am starting to take time to assess the level of the water within the
jugs. Based on that measurement
(reflection) I find I can more easily justify why the Kung Fu demo is as important
as the recital in a particular circumstance.
If you have a basis for your decision rather than gut feel, I find guilt
less of a factor.
I am going to think more on the issue of balance, until
then, I will close this very rambling blog.
